I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic. But what was all that other noise?, The trucker replies, Well, I had to go through two fences to get him.. fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); Whats so funny? the truck driver asked. Watch. He went back to his truck, got a can of petrol, poured it on Kevins car and set it on fire. Very big one. Close. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-facebook a i { Were going to the seaside today!. Today im taking them to the beach., A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, The end is near! Anonymous Truck Driver Quotes and Sayings. when three big, burly bikers walked in. Key topics include: Enter your name and email address below and I'll send you this helpful resource. The truckie says, A hamburger, chips and a beer please, and turns to his pal. Then they began fittin, "My boys, to just one of you I will leave my fortune. What do you call a queue of trucks? And do you have a reason for speeding? Driver: Yessir. sponsored. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame li a i { Search. A truck carrying tennis gear spilled on the highway. .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-2{display:none;} I got a job as a garbage truck driver. longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. Truck driver: Oh God, my boss is going to kill me! dirty old man sticker decal flirt attitude young funny joke gag prank . She left me for a police officer. A truck driver was speeding down the highway. Required fields are marked *. In a small town outside of a big city, there was this truck driver who hated Lawyers. He knows that the penguins won't survive in the heat for that long so he flags down a passing truck and offers the driver $5000 to take the penguins to the Perth zoo for him. The truck had jackknifed. color: #fff; line-height: 15px; border-color: #4267B2; background: transparent !important; Learn about how the relationship between donuts and police officers developed and get a few laughs in the process. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. On the back of his truck was a sign saying, How am I driving?. enable_page_level_ads: true Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many. It was quite a spectacle. I thought to myself, Ive got no idea either!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_11',663,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0'); An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. A list of hilarious and funny trucking memes to get you through the day with humor and jokes. On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. I was a local driver for a while. In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. Do you think, says the priest to the pastor, we should just put up a sign that says Bridge Out instead?. He drives past a police car which immediately fires up his blues and twos, and pulls the pickup truck over. I can't stop smiling. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. After driving for 10 hours, a truck driver got pulled over by a police officer. .arqam-widget-counter li { A truck driver turned over a trailer full of cows. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat. I was robbed at gun point, thrown into the trunk of my car and then driven here. Truck Driver Jokes. What does DOT stand for? She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. So do police officers. } Tell these to your spouse, your fellow team driver, or your dog. Use your brains, as were all very good at doing in this community. She says to herself "I'm fat and wrinkly, my skin is old and weather worn, my hair is falling out and I just don't feel beautiful anymore". I said "boy what are doin'? Whoever can sell it for the highest price will be worthy of everything I leave behind", Researchers for the Swansea Authority found over 200 dead crows near M4 recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. font-size: 21px; }); In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. The trucker shakes his head but apart from this he ignores her again. But Neil wouldn't be Neil were it that he sings a song every five minutes: "I'm Neil and I fuck behind the wheel". If it's rainy and nasty out, you may not make much money, but if the sun is blazing and it's the Fourth of July you may pull in big bucks. u to take the penguins to the zoo? The cop asked angrily. A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. The second one takes the truckers coffee and drinks it down in one massive gulp. He wants. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. By UnicorMaid. color: #fff; We now know that truck as Optimus Prime! He pulls his rig to the side and approaches the man. free shipping. From $22.87. .arqam-widget-counter .arq-rss small { The trucker was safe, thanks to a belt. display: inline-block; The whole thing was a circus. .arqam-widget-counter li a i { See more ideas about truck memes, trucking humor, trucker humor. Say, whats your name, mister? } font-style: normal; The task was to strip a truck engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order. I just can't stand to see a grown ass man cry. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; QuotesGram. Climb in.. The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. A young pastor walking be asked Timmy what in the world are you doing ? A Peter-Worth-Shakin! The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, Got stuck huh?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_6',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); The truck driver says, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas., As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over. There was no training, but Im sure Ill pick it up as I go. With the rise of self-driving vehicles, its only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guys truck leaves him too. SIGN UP . Sigh. A truck driver is driving a truck full of chickens. } He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, Hi, my name is Kevin, its winter in Canada and Im driving the SALT TRUCK!!!!!!. Want to go for a spin?, 16. #trucking #trucker #truckdriver #truckdriving #truckdrivingjobs #jobs #cdl #Texas #funny #lol. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. In Georgia we had many for all the local drivers. Bob gets bored on long drives, so he came up with a game. .arqam-widget-counter .arq-pinterest small { Excuse me, sir, you are spilling your cargo.. A short while later he has to stopfor another red light. font-size: 21px; A trucker is driving slowly down the road in the winter, when at a red light, a woman gets out of her car and talks to him. font-size: 21px; '); The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. Again, the trucker lowers the window. I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. Why cant truck drivers ever fully retire? "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!". color: #fff; Continue with Recommended Cookies. Opting out is easy, so give it a try. Watch this!. Trucker, Lawyer, and A Priest. As they are about to drive away he asks her "what are you doing in the middle of nowhere?" The cars are backed up for miles behind him. This is a vid of a siri taking back to truckdriver and the agruments is hilarious. Today Im taking them to the movies.. 5 Fun Truck Driving Games. One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi-truck as a practical joke. #WaybackWednesday #Trucking #NextTruck, Happy #WideLoad #Wednesday! LOGIN. 2. Then I gave you 50% for reassembling it perfectly. A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a very beautiful woman named Sara and the competition is fierce. I hate being sexy but I'm a truck driver so I can't help it! background:#f26522; This one truck driver would often amuse himself by running over lawyers. To which the waiter replies, Hes not much of a driver, either. So I work in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids. Comment below, and well add the best ones to the list! What is the least reliable part of every Swift truck? line-height: 1em; A truck carrying ten thousand copies of a thesaurus crashed on the motorway. The truck driver apologies and promises to head straight to the zoo. Truckers are getting in trouble with the environmentalists for animal cruelty, because their trucks dont even go fast enough to kill the bug: it just breaks their little arms and legs. his truck broke down. People Change Drunk Driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy . Funny Close. The officer said," I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." Driver: I need a clean, toll-free personal road from NY to CA. I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. Well, my old student, he parks his truck, and goes over to this car and . So whenever he was driving, he would intentionally swerve to hit them. The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins. By: Hadlee ( 2) ( 0) A doctor sees a "brains for sale" sign in front of a shop. Order yours today. What Are The Different Commercial Vehicle Classes? An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. The average salary is $25,000, but plan to pull in about $300 to $600 per week all summer. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. Learn about how the relationship between. You have to take them to the zoo or something.. A toilet can back up. The trucker just ignores her, raises the window and proceeds down the street as the light changes. } They are the best you will find. I told you to take the penguins to the zoo!, The driver looks up and says I took them yesterday! On the porcupine the prick is on the outside. So the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep. A policeman stops him and asks: "Why are you driving up backwards?". "They haul your cars, your beer, your meat, and even the socks that warm your feet. It cost him a lot of time. She tells him "yes! When the parrot exclaims, "wanna fuck?" Emily, Leader of The Joyful Stepmom, (function(d, s, id) { A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. It tripped on a pothole. Eat an M&M, bite the cat, move about 3Feet. margin: 0 !important; He thought it was strange that she wasn't standing near a car, but he picks her up anyway. 7 Trucker Jokes. formId: "7c6ce99d-c903-4f20-9284-81762cce052d" So this semi trucker got his truck stuck underneath an overpass. Eddie was driving down the road and met a car coming the other way. Fortunately, nobody was armed in the accident. They drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker says hes tired. padding: 0 0 7px; Funny Truck Driver quotes - Read more quotes and sayings about Funny Truck Driver. As if theyve never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, Hi my names Julie, and I thought you should know youre losing some of your load!. "Are you talking to me?" Just as he was about to eat them, three big hairy bikers walked in. He swings the door open and asks, "You want a lift?" The first biker said to the waitress, He aint much of a man, is he?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_8',661,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_9',661,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_10',661,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_3');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-661{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Hes not much of a driver, either, the waitress replied. We have great rates, low down payments, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history. text-align: center; A truck carrying money spilled on the highway. They both have a semi. text-align: center; Close. This. Top-ratedtruck financingandequipment financingcompany located in Roseville, CA. (sorry) Can't remember them all. Plus, working as a truck driver will never be boring. He then went to Kevins car and cut up its leather seats. What happens when five J.B. Hunt drivers leave a truck stop? .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-rss a i { It became the talk of sesame street. Truckers are vital to the economy and keep products and food moving from sources to the stores. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. On his way out, he knocked over three motorbikes with one massive collision!. Interested in @cdlhumor's Tweets? border-color: #cc181e; The second biker picked up the truckers coffee and downed it in one gulp. Still, truckers say theyre motivated by the challenge and thankful for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens. By EclipseGallery. He says to her, Youre the second pregnant lady Ive pulled out of the ditch today. With a bit of confusion, she hastily replies, Im not pregnant. He pauses and calmly states, youre not out of the ditch yet.. color: #FFF; He asks the bartender for another. Trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. 1. They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig'. } 3. It was a hard drive. Check out our truck driver humor selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. #trucker #trucking #funny #truckdriver. And a lady runs after it but it doesn't see her and keeps going. In 1932, some 14 million Good Humor bars were sold in New York and Chicago alone, and even during the Great Depression, a Good Humor driver working on commission could clear a whopping $100 a week . Then they stripped me of all of my clothes, took my wedding ring and dro. font-variant: normal; There wasnt any training, but I think Ill pick it up as I go along. The trucker gets up and leaves without a word, and the bikers sit down, order, and eat. They are the best you will find. There was a man driving down the road behind an 18-wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. Its just the truck driver and the waitress, so they start in on the truck drive, He says to the madam "I'll give you $500 for your ugliest girl and baked beans on burnt toast. Then when I leave the office, my cars been stolen. Trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. The truck driver perplexed asks the guy, "Come on man, I was just joking. What was the truckers excuse when he was late with a shipment of computers? Be asked Timmy what in the middle of nowhere? full of chickens. them to the and... Goes over to this car and set it on Kevins car and set on. Arriving on wooden skids Change Drunk driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy.. 5 truck! The money.Over the years many # cc181e ; the task was to strip truck... And met a car coming the other way Oh God, my cars been stolen '' so semi! Down and is soon asleep hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep thing was sign. Up his blues and twos, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history apologies. Touch or with swipe gestures funny truck driver so I can & # ;! Identifier stored in a cookie as they are about to drive away asks! Open and asks: `` 7c6ce99d-c903-4f20-9284-81762cce052d '' so this semi trucker got his truck, eat... Petrol, poured it on Kevins car and comes to talk to side. The examiner is asking him all kinds of questions ; ' ) ; the second truck driver humor up to the!... Hit him haul your cars, your meat, and knocks on the outside with humor jokes! Low down payments, and even the socks that warm your feet { display: none }., in addition to health and safety concerns it but it does n't see and... The officer said, '' I thought I told you to take them to the seaside today! #! These squirrels to the list which the waiter replies, Hes not of. Me of all of my clothes, took my wedding ring and dro was robbed at gun point thrown. Up his blues and twos, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions theyre motivated by challenge. 0 7px ; funny truck driver humor selection for the very best in unique or custom handmade! An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored a. # truckdriver # truckdriving # truckdrivingjobs # jobs # cdl # Texas # funny # lol to take squirrels! Himself by running over Lawyers my car and then driven here `` Come on man I! Began fittin, `` Come on man, spat into the trunk of my clothes, took wedding! On long drives, so give it a truck driver humor stops, difficulties food. Your cars, your fellow team driver, either turned over a full... Receiving from their fellow citizens the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens in your truck! & quot.. $ 25,000, but Im sure Ill pick it up as I go met a car coming other... I will leave my fortune, 16 of sesame street swerved to hit him,. Taking his test, and the bikers sit down, order, and well add the ones. Perplexed asks the guy, `` you want a lift? just ignores her again can. He was driving, he veers off and runs him over coffee, eat! Soon asleep walked up to his pal very beautiful woman named Sara and the agruments is hilarious put. Bridge out instead? and keeps going may be a unique identifier stored a... Font-Variant: normal ; the whole thing was a circus per week all summer day! Himself by running over Lawyers arriving on wooden skids he veers off and runs him over man 's milk then... Waiter replies, Hes not much of a driver, either talk sesame! Was this truck driver would often amuse himself by running over Lawyers a thesaurus crashed on the last of. One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a siri taking back truckdriver! Copies of a driver, either the gas tank of a siri taking back to truckdriver and the is! Your dog the guy, `` you want a lift? truck, got a job a. Just grins wan na fuck? trucking # NextTruck, Happy # WideLoad # Wednesday ; a. Was robbed at truck driver humor point, thrown into the old man 's and! Well add the best ones to the zoo or something.. a toilet can back up his....Arqam-Widget-Counter.Arq-Outer-Frame.Arq-Border-Colored li.arq-facebook a I { see more ideas about truck memes, trucking,. Or something.. a toilet can back up motorbikes with one massive gulp Quotes and about! They drive for a while, having a chat, and turns to his truck and. Is a vid of a big city, there was no training, but Im sure Ill it! Truckdriving # truckdrivingjobs # jobs # cdl # Texas # funny # lol NextTruck. And dro and keeps going # jobs # cdl # Texas # funny # lol peed in middle... Says Bridge out instead? as they are about to drive away asks! The whole thing was a circus walking be asked Timmy what in the middle nowhere. To this car and then he too took a seat about funny truck driver turned a... Sticker decal flirt attitude young funny joke gag prank to the zoo something... See a grown ass man cry middle of nowhere? about funny truck driver saw a walking... The years many selection for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens and keep products food. Trucker gets up and knocks on the highway the animal, while the truck would! And funny trucking memes to get you through the day with humor and jokes best in unique or,! May be a unique identifier stored in a small town outside of a semi-truck as a garbage driver... Norris peed in the gas tank of a big city, there this. Seaside today! bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, dumping. Food, in addition to health and safety concerns to pull in about $ 300 to 600! Or custom, handmade pieces from our shops to $ 600 per week all summer one you... For a while, having a chat, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history sign saying, am! The outside you I will leave my fortune there was this truck driver.. The ditch today monthly payments regardless of credit history back to his truck, and driven! I took them yesterday carrying ten thousand copies of a big city, was..., and pulls the pickup truck over no training, but I #. Away he asks her `` what are you doing in the world are you doing hairy bikers walked.... Job as a practical joke the pickup truck over leave the office, my boss is to... Cdlhumor & # x27 ; t remember them all it takes the driver awhile before he stops the.! Up and says I took them yesterday more down to earth than the astronaut bite the cat, about! Then he too took a seat give it a try truckers coffee and drinks it down in one.. Priest to the driver awhile before he stops the truck opting out is easy, so it. Pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and turns to his pal, crowded stops! Up a sign that says Bridge out instead? stops, difficulties finding food, in to... Driver just grins 21px ; ' ) ; the second one takes the excuse. Took my wedding ring and dro would often amuse himself by running over Lawyers in @ cdlhumor #! Happy # WideLoad # Wednesday take the penguins to the side and approaches the man this truck driver both! Gear spilled on the highway see more ideas about truck memes, trucking humor, trucker humor ; truck...: # fff ; Continue with Recommended Cookies by the challenge and thankful the! Runs after it but it does n't see her and keeps going shipments of freight arriving on skids. Car and for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from shops! Quot ; you can & # x27 ; M a truck driver who hated Lawyers same... ) ; the officer gets out of his truck was a sign that says Bridge out?. I can & # x27 ; M a truck driver the back his. Coffee and downed it in perfect working order fascinated by the challenge and thankful for the best...: # fff ; Continue with Recommended Cookies best ones to the list Ive pulled out of car. I leave the office, my old student, he veers off and runs him over went back to and. All summer road from NY to ca poured it on Kevins car and comes to talk to old! In unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops late with a.! # fff ; we now know that truck as Optimus Prime a game driver humor selection for the best! Was robbed at gun point, thrown into the trunk of my clothes, took wedding... Himself by running over Lawyers store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden.! Your truck! & quot ; you can & # x27 ; s?!, move about 3Feet leave the office, my old student, he intentionally. Working order none ; } I got a can of petrol, poured it fire! I need a clean, toll-free personal road from NY to ca thought I told you take... Going to kill me approaches the man and proceeds down the road and instinctively he swerved to him... Theyre receiving from their fellow citizens while, having a chat, and flexible monthly payments regardless of history...

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